For the past three years the hardest part of our infertility struggle has definitely been (obviously) the trying and trying to have a child to no avail. I would say the second hardest part has to be the financial toll it takes on you as well..
Making a baby is supposed to be free, but we've quickly learned that if any obstacles are put in your way, i.e. when infertility rears it's ugly head, it is anything but. At Rhett's past job we were fortunate enough to have amazing insurance that covered almost everything with very small deductibles. Now though, we find ourselves with no insurance for infertility. I find it infuriating that insurance policies can get away with not covering this, to me having a child is a normal human function, and if it can not be performed should be treated as any other medical condition. I don't think that they would deny someone mental health services. Not being able to have a child definitely takes it's toll on your mental health. Pay up now insurance, and save yourself money down the line... anyways, I digress.
Rhett and I have three "snow babies" (as we like to call them, the technical name is frozen embryo, I like snow baby) and have decided to do a frozen cycle and put them all in and pray for the best. With no insurance coverage we will be paying for everything out of pocket, which is going to make us tighten our belts significantly, and definitely impact our lifestyle ( I guess I have to start cooking and stop shopping). We are willing to take on this financial burden to fulfill what to us, is our biggest life goal. Endless nights of mac n cheese, redboxes, and a last season's clothes will be a distant memory when we have our little precious baby or babies. So here's to a tight budget and a bright future!
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Friday, September 9, 2011
My Next Thirty Years...
I remember listening to the song "My Next Thirty Years" by Tim McGraw when I was younger and thinking 30 sounded old, and well so far off... but here I am sitting at my kitchen table drinking coffee (took the day off work)and realizing that 30 wasn't so far off after all. I am it and it is me.
Looking back on my past 30 years I realize how blessed I've been, a wonderful mom and dad that love me, two great brothers, and the most adoring, caring, supportive (and handsome) husband a gal could ask for. Now that I'm starting a new era I'm looking towards my next thirty years and I wonder what's in store for me. I hope and pray that soon God will bless us with a child, I'd like to pursue my dream of writing, and stop complaining (not sure which will be harder, the having a child or not complaining, ha).
One goal that you all know about and have supported me in, is my dream to run a marathon. It is with a heavy heart that I announce to you all that I've decided not to run the Chicago Marathon. There were many factors that came into play when making this decision, and believe me, it wasn't an easy one to make! When the school year started, I was working crazy long hours that was inhibiting me from keeping to my running schedule during the week. There were weeks that I was not running at all during the week and jumping in and running 16 miles on a Saturday. This in turn has caused me to suffer a lot of back and knee pain. In conjunction to the aches and pains, I'd been feeling more tired than I ever had in my life. I at first contributed this to chasing 6 and 7 year olds around again for 7 hours a day. After a while though, I realized this was a whole new kind of tired. After some bloodwork it was found my thyroid is not properly functioning. My doctor said that this can further negatively impact my fertility (really?!?) so I've been put on medication to help regulate this problem. My optimistic mom says perhaps this is the ticket we'll need to get preggers! So to make a long story short, it seems as though the intense work outs were not boding well with me, and I made what seems to me like the hardest, but most responsible choice I could. I can't thank you all enough for the generous contributions you made to support me, and please know 100% of your donations have gone to help sick children (and are tax deductible :) ) regardless of whether I run the race or not.
So on to bigger and better things...For my birthday, Rhett bought me a bunch of fertility books that we're going to read together and hope to start treatments again soon! Taking a break from treatments has been wonderful for us, it gave us time to relax, focus on us, and de-stress. Lately though, I think we've been getting the itch to take charge and plow forward again. So it's true what they say, one door closes and another opens... So cheers to my past thirty years and on to my
next thirty years filled with hopes, dreams, and maybe the pitter patter of little feet..
Looking back on my past 30 years I realize how blessed I've been, a wonderful mom and dad that love me, two great brothers, and the most adoring, caring, supportive (and handsome) husband a gal could ask for. Now that I'm starting a new era I'm looking towards my next thirty years and I wonder what's in store for me. I hope and pray that soon God will bless us with a child, I'd like to pursue my dream of writing, and stop complaining (not sure which will be harder, the having a child or not complaining, ha).
One goal that you all know about and have supported me in, is my dream to run a marathon. It is with a heavy heart that I announce to you all that I've decided not to run the Chicago Marathon. There were many factors that came into play when making this decision, and believe me, it wasn't an easy one to make! When the school year started, I was working crazy long hours that was inhibiting me from keeping to my running schedule during the week. There were weeks that I was not running at all during the week and jumping in and running 16 miles on a Saturday. This in turn has caused me to suffer a lot of back and knee pain. In conjunction to the aches and pains, I'd been feeling more tired than I ever had in my life. I at first contributed this to chasing 6 and 7 year olds around again for 7 hours a day. After a while though, I realized this was a whole new kind of tired. After some bloodwork it was found my thyroid is not properly functioning. My doctor said that this can further negatively impact my fertility (really?!?) so I've been put on medication to help regulate this problem. My optimistic mom says perhaps this is the ticket we'll need to get preggers! So to make a long story short, it seems as though the intense work outs were not boding well with me, and I made what seems to me like the hardest, but most responsible choice I could. I can't thank you all enough for the generous contributions you made to support me, and please know 100% of your donations have gone to help sick children (and are tax deductible :) ) regardless of whether I run the race or not.
So on to bigger and better things...For my birthday, Rhett bought me a bunch of fertility books that we're going to read together and hope to start treatments again soon! Taking a break from treatments has been wonderful for us, it gave us time to relax, focus on us, and de-stress. Lately though, I think we've been getting the itch to take charge and plow forward again. So it's true what they say, one door closes and another opens... So cheers to my past thirty years and on to my
next thirty years filled with hopes, dreams, and maybe the pitter patter of little feet..
Monday, August 1, 2011
13 going on 30
This past weekend I ran 13.5 miles with my training group and although it was hot and my knees were hurting a little bit, I felt great. In between getting to know you chats with my fellow running group members I reflected on the current journey I'm on in life. For some reason or the other at about mile 7 I realized, I'm going to be 30 in a little over a month and I felt my heart flutter a bit. What about my life's checklist? I have so many prior to 30 check boxes unchecked, mainly my "be a mom" check box pulling at my heart the most. I realized that running a marathon was not ever on that list ( I swore only crazy people ran marathons) and although it won't be checked off prior to my 30th but will be 31 days after, so there's that.
At lunch with Rhett later that day I told him my epiphany while running and told him, although I'm only halfway through my training I feel empowered and accomplished. I CAN run 13 miles, I WILL run 26.2, and I'm almost 30. It turns out maybe I should add things to the list and check them off as I go, turns out focusing on what you can do is a whole lot better than what you can't. If if I can run 13 and I'm going on 30... then I can hopefully still check off that baby box someday, I believe in my body, maybe it and God just have a check list of their own.
At lunch with Rhett later that day I told him my epiphany while running and told him, although I'm only halfway through my training I feel empowered and accomplished. I CAN run 13 miles, I WILL run 26.2, and I'm almost 30. It turns out maybe I should add things to the list and check them off as I go, turns out focusing on what you can do is a whole lot better than what you can't. If if I can run 13 and I'm going on 30... then I can hopefully still check off that baby box someday, I believe in my body, maybe it and God just have a check list of their own.
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Back to Reality
We arrived back from the sandy beaches and sunny skies of Puerto Vallarta late Sunday night to be abruptly faced with... the sunny skies and sandy beach of Chicago! The weather here has been really nice since we've arrived back home, and I've been enjoying the time back going to the beach with friends, enjoying the tunes of U2 at Soldier Field, and meeting Rhett for lunch in Oak Brook, where he works. So I guess that being said it's been back to reality for one us, that "one" definitely not being me.
Our trip was Wonderful! We left for the trip on Monday, June 27th and came back on July 3rd. It was seven days and 6 nights of pure bliss. Our resort was up in the beautiful mountainside of Puerto Vallarta. We spent our time relaxing by the beach and at the pool, drinking yummy frozen drinks, and dining at romantic beachside restaurants. It was so nice to spend so much quality time together and be totally and completely relaxed. I took a bit of a break from my running, so had to kick in full gear when I arrived back home. This Saturday my training group and I tackle 10 miles, the most we've done so far. We are in week 5 of our training, in 13 weeks I'll be tackling 26.2 miles! Thanks so much for everyone who has encouraged me with their words, donations, and love. Having this marathon has eased the pain of our journey with infertility, it has given me both focus and solace and made me feel successful with each mile further I go. I would want someone to help our future children if they fell ill, and it makes me happy to know I am making a difference. Much love to you all!
Saturday, June 25, 2011
The Summer of Selfish
I think that the word selfish to most of us, screams negativity. I do feel that sometimes being selfish is good, and a key to our sanity in fact. At times in life we start almost losing sight of ourselves and our own needs which negativitely impacts us, and in turn most likely those around us too.
Rhett and I have put our want to have a baby before our own needs and wants and haven't done much for ourselves in a while. So we have dedicated Summer 2011, as "The Summer of Selfish". We are doing things for ourselves, taking trips, and in cases spending money we probably should be saving, but hey, you only live once, right? We are kicking off the Summer of Selfish in two days where we jet off to Mexico for a week, and we can't wait! We are looking forward to relaxing and enjoying the "all inclusive" life for a week, followed by a few short weeks later we are headed to California for a friend's wedding in Sonoma, where we look forward to some Vineyard Tours and good times with friends!
Tonight we are headed downtown to a friend's wedding and so far it's looking like a beautiful day! I thank Rhett for my new spin on life, my type A, saving, planning, almost obsessive personality hasn't afforded me the luxury of being carefree,or dare I say, selfish? He's taught me to let go, and focus on all we have in life and call we can do instead of what we don't have and what we can't do. So I'd like to raise my coffee cup (as it's only 8:30 here but soon to be replaced by a Margarita in a few days!) to living life, to my wonderful husband, and to being selfish! Have you been selfish today?
Rhett and I have put our want to have a baby before our own needs and wants and haven't done much for ourselves in a while. So we have dedicated Summer 2011, as "The Summer of Selfish". We are doing things for ourselves, taking trips, and in cases spending money we probably should be saving, but hey, you only live once, right? We are kicking off the Summer of Selfish in two days where we jet off to Mexico for a week, and we can't wait! We are looking forward to relaxing and enjoying the "all inclusive" life for a week, followed by a few short weeks later we are headed to California for a friend's wedding in Sonoma, where we look forward to some Vineyard Tours and good times with friends!
Tonight we are headed downtown to a friend's wedding and so far it's looking like a beautiful day! I thank Rhett for my new spin on life, my type A, saving, planning, almost obsessive personality hasn't afforded me the luxury of being carefree,or dare I say, selfish? He's taught me to let go, and focus on all we have in life and call we can do instead of what we don't have and what we can't do. So I'd like to raise my coffee cup (as it's only 8:30 here but soon to be replaced by a Margarita in a few days!) to living life, to my wonderful husband, and to being selfish! Have you been selfish today?
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
School's Out for the Summer!
Well ladies and gentlemen, today's the day we've all been waiting for (okay maybe not all, but I know that I certainly have ) SUMMER VACATION!!! Today was my last day of school with the kiddos. It was actually kind of bittersweet, I had an amazing class this year, and am really going to miss them, but I am very excited for the summer with our trips and relaxation!
On the way home today I had all these great plans, get my nails done, make an awesome dinner, etc. What did I do when I got home? Let the boys out and promptly fell asleep for three hours, I think the whirl-wind trip to Cincy for my grandfather's funeral combined with the craziness of end of year preparations finally caught up with me. I woke up to eat dinner with Rhett, as I rarely skip a meal, and now I'm winding down and getting ready to fall back to sleep again! I have the next few days to prepare for our trip, we have a wedding on Saturday, and then very early Monday morning we'll be headed to Mexico! I'm so excited I can hardly wait!! I'll be sure to continue to update now that I have more time, so stay tuned!
On the way home today I had all these great plans, get my nails done, make an awesome dinner, etc. What did I do when I got home? Let the boys out and promptly fell asleep for three hours, I think the whirl-wind trip to Cincy for my grandfather's funeral combined with the craziness of end of year preparations finally caught up with me. I woke up to eat dinner with Rhett, as I rarely skip a meal, and now I'm winding down and getting ready to fall back to sleep again! I have the next few days to prepare for our trip, we have a wedding on Saturday, and then very early Monday morning we'll be headed to Mexico! I'm so excited I can hardly wait!! I'll be sure to continue to update now that I have more time, so stay tuned!
Friday, June 17, 2011
An Ode to My Papa
When I think about the wonderful, selfless, charismatic, kind-hearted man, that was my grandfather, I’m reminded of a quote by Erma Bombeck; “When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would have not a single bit of talent left and could say, “I used everything you gave me.”
I am assured of two things; One, my papa is confident and aware that he used all his talents and exhausted every avenue to be the best person he could possibly be, and two, him and God are already best buds, as my Papa most likely found a common interest with him and struck up a conversation, (as he often did, the man truly didn’t know a stranger) and is most likely out on the beautiful greens of Heaven, playing a game of golf with God and other precious family members such as his father and brother that have gone before him.
Reflecting back on the life of such an amazing person brings tears to my eyes. My Papa wore many hats, and he wore them all perfectly. Perfect dad to his two sons, perfect grandfather to his 6 grandchildren and three great grandchildren, and WOW is all I can say about the kind of husband he was to my Nonnie.
Papa never thought of his needs and wants and always put others before him. He had a constant smile on his face, that despite how crummy a day you might be having couldn’t help but put a smile on yours. I have so many fond memories of him that warm my heart and comfort me during this hard time as I mourn his loss.
My childhood was filled with tons of memories of sleep-overs at my grandparents, birthday pool parties at their house, trips to Florida, and dinners out just because. My grandpa always filled my heart with joy. One memory that sticks out in my head is back in the day, before liquid restrictions and full- body scans at the airports, you could greet your visiting family right at the terminal. Wow, I kind of sound old, don’t I? Anyways, I remember coming out of that walk-way and seeing my Papa and Nonnie, and the welcoming looks they both had made me feel like I had to have done something right in my life to deserve to have someone feel that happy to see me. That was just how he was, he made everyone feel special, like they were the only one in the room. He constantly told my brothers and I how proud he was of us, and made us all want to make him prouder. He treated my Nonnie like a princess and made me want to search far and wide until I found someone that I could share the kind of marriage he had with her. I found that man, and was beyond thrilled when my Papa loved him as much as I do!
My Papa brought sunshine to this world, even the sing-song way he said hello when he answered the phone could brighten your day. There is never enough time in life, and we always wish for another day, and I feel this is definitely true of how I’m feeling about this great guy that I’m so lucky to have known. Today though, I celebrate the man he was and the legacy he’s left behind. I love you, Papa, thanks for being you.
I am assured of two things; One, my papa is confident and aware that he used all his talents and exhausted every avenue to be the best person he could possibly be, and two, him and God are already best buds, as my Papa most likely found a common interest with him and struck up a conversation, (as he often did, the man truly didn’t know a stranger) and is most likely out on the beautiful greens of Heaven, playing a game of golf with God and other precious family members such as his father and brother that have gone before him.
Reflecting back on the life of such an amazing person brings tears to my eyes. My Papa wore many hats, and he wore them all perfectly. Perfect dad to his two sons, perfect grandfather to his 6 grandchildren and three great grandchildren, and WOW is all I can say about the kind of husband he was to my Nonnie.
Papa never thought of his needs and wants and always put others before him. He had a constant smile on his face, that despite how crummy a day you might be having couldn’t help but put a smile on yours. I have so many fond memories of him that warm my heart and comfort me during this hard time as I mourn his loss.
My childhood was filled with tons of memories of sleep-overs at my grandparents, birthday pool parties at their house, trips to Florida, and dinners out just because. My grandpa always filled my heart with joy. One memory that sticks out in my head is back in the day, before liquid restrictions and full- body scans at the airports, you could greet your visiting family right at the terminal. Wow, I kind of sound old, don’t I? Anyways, I remember coming out of that walk-way and seeing my Papa and Nonnie, and the welcoming looks they both had made me feel like I had to have done something right in my life to deserve to have someone feel that happy to see me. That was just how he was, he made everyone feel special, like they were the only one in the room. He constantly told my brothers and I how proud he was of us, and made us all want to make him prouder. He treated my Nonnie like a princess and made me want to search far and wide until I found someone that I could share the kind of marriage he had with her. I found that man, and was beyond thrilled when my Papa loved him as much as I do!
My Papa brought sunshine to this world, even the sing-song way he said hello when he answered the phone could brighten your day. There is never enough time in life, and we always wish for another day, and I feel this is definitely true of how I’m feeling about this great guy that I’m so lucky to have known. Today though, I celebrate the man he was and the legacy he’s left behind. I love you, Papa, thanks for being you.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)