Up, Up, Up!

Today I went to the doctor's office before school to get another blood test to see how my HcG numbers were coming along. They doubled which is great, exactly what it is supposed to do. This was such a relief to hear, as of course I am hoping and praying that everything continues to sail smoothly. While I was at the doctor's office they gave me the best gift... a pregnancy handout of do's and don't and what to expect right now. I was elated. Who knew four pieces of paper stapled together could make a girl so happy? I almost pinched myself, thinking I'd wake up from this amazing dream. I still can't believe it worked, I am walking on clouds right now! We both are.

I have been feeling well but extremely tired and a bit nauseous in the mornings. I haven't been throwing up but also haven't felt much like eating in the morning. I have been keeping crackers on hand and was able to suck down a green smoothie this morning, so I am taking care of myself, don't worry!

We go again on Friday to see if my numbers doubled again. If all looks great then we will do our first ultrasound next week to detect the gestational sac and yolk sac within the uterus. The week after that we will be able to see the heartbeat or beats! Talk about having a lot to be thankful for! Speaking of being thankful I have the best hubby in the world. He has stood by me through all the struggles we've had with conceiving the past 4 and a half years. He has been my rock, my friend, my shoulder to cry on, my brightness in a dark place. He has been taking such good care of me, walking the dogs, lifting everything, getting me food since I have been too tired to cook, tucking me and the babies in with a kiss for me and three kisses for the belly. I look at him and can't help but think, life is good, God is good! I am so happy to be sharing this exciting time in my life with my best friend and soul mate!


Have a good night.

Bails and the bambinos

Blessed

Yesterday Rhett and I received the best news we have received in a long while.. we are PREGNANT!!! We went in for the blood test and got the call later that we are in fact pregnant with good, strong numbers. The doctor said that with numbers like ours it is possible there is 1,2, or even 3 in there! I get my blood drawn tomorrow and then again on Friday. They are looking to see that my pregnancy hormones are doubling every other day. I have a great feeling and just know everything is going to be happy, healthy, and wonderful for the next nine months. Thank you so much for your thoughts and prayers and please keep them coming. It is wonderful to have such a great support network in our friends and family, We can't wait to continue to share this journey with you!

Love,

Bailey, Rhett, and the lil ones

Hope

Source: tumblr.com via Kaitlin on Pinterest

Hope is a wonderful thing. It fills you with warmth, with promise, with light. It is the voice inside your head that says if you want it, you will get it, you may have to wait, there may be pain, but if you keep your faith and hold onto your hope, someday, it will all be okay.....

Rhett and I have never lost hope, even on our darkest of days, the most disappointing of moments, we have never let the thought consume us that we won't be parents. We just can't buy into that thought. Even in the midst of our fifth IVF I refuse to let the shadows of previous cycles loom over me. I a pregnant until proven otherwise. I already find myself rubbing my belly and thanking God for the blessings inside me. I believe in the power of positive thinking and I am willing my embies to burrow and stay safe.

Friday was our embryo transfer. We woke up bright and early! Rhett had taken the dogs out and was sitting on the couch and I came bounding out of the bedroom proclaiming, "I'm too excited to sleep!" (My fav quote from an adorable little boy on a Disney World commercial years ago) He asked if he could take me out for a pre-pregnancy breakfast and I obliged ( I never turn down food) We went out to a cute, organic diner down the road from our fertility center. We enjoyed a breakfast filled with lots of laughs and excited talk about our impending procedure. Once at the center we were called back, and before we knew it, three amazing embryos popped up in the screen and then they were placed in me, and it was done! We headed to acupuncture and thanks to the valium we added to this cycle I came home and slept most of the day! My mom arrived Friday night and her and Rhett took great care of me, feeding me, cleaning the house, and most importantly making me laugh! I am one lucky girl!

I am now 4 days past embryo transfer. Today is around the time when the lil ones should be implanting. I try not to read into any symptoms because most of the meds I am on mimick pregnancy symptoms, but I have been extremely tired and yesterday was very nauseous and even threw up. I didn't feel like I had the flu, so I am hoping it was hormones doing their work! I have been very sore in my low back and lower hip regions where the monster needles are injected. This cycle we added blood thinners, which can help with implantation. Those needles go in my belly and they hurt like a um... they hurt. I keep telling myself it will all be worth it! This is my last day of bedrest and I am taking it easy cuddling with the boys, watching tv and already had a nap. I am not a napper and I have had one everyday since Friday!

Thank you all for your calls, texts, messages, cards, etc. You have helped me keep the hope. Let's keep on hopin' together!

our cute lil embie trio

All Aboard the IVF Train!

Well after a nice hiatus Rhett and I ready to board the IVF train again. This past month has been filled with shots and patches and mood swings (pray for Rhett). But Transfer Day is almost upon us. This Friday, October 26th, we will be placing 3 beautiful embryos back to me and pray and hope and will a successful outcome! I have been so busy with school and just life in general that I honestly haven't given it too much thought and I can't believe it's almost here! My mom is coming up to help me while on bed rest with cooking, cleaning, and watching chick flicks (again, pray for Rhett) and I am so looking forward to some qt with two of my favorite people in the world. I have taken Friday off of work for the transfer and then Monday as well to give those embies some time to nestle in for the next nine months!

So here's to our fifth IVF cycle...let's make this one a winner!

Love,

Bailey

Source: fitsugar.com via Bailey on Pinterest

If at 4th You Don't Succeed

Well, we got the heart breaking call yesterday that our 4th attempt at IVF failed. Sad, frustrated, confused, angry.. the list of emotions I felt go on and on. I sat on the couch and cried for a while and then I did something I haven't been able to do in a while, I laced up my running shoes and hit the pavement.

I guess grief can make you do crazy things, as it was over 100 degrees yesterday and I went running at 5. It may have been a crazy choice ( I got quite a few quizzical looks from passer-bys) but it was seriously the best thing I could have done for myself. When Rhett got home we went to a cute little wine bar in Roscoe Village, and split a bottle of wine and some apps and just tried to count our blessings.


There really are no reasons this happens, sometimes I feel like I've done something wrong and am being punished, but when I glance around the crowded waiting room at the fertility center, I know this can't be true. Surely all these kind people aren't being punished, it's just one of those things that aren't fair. There are a lot of things in life that aren't fair, a child who spends their days in a hospital, a young mother who loses her battle with cancer, a hard-working family who loses their house due to financial turmoil. Really, in the grand scheme of things, we are so blessed.

As I lay awake last night I cuddled the three men in my life (Rhett, Boomer, and Bauer) and was so thankful for their health. We really are so lucky. We are of course deeply saddened, but there are 16 other frozen embryos waiting for us and pleading that we not give up, and we won't.

Give up, never! Few month break, yes, please. I intend to enjoy the rest of my summer by doing things I had to give up, running, coffee, sunbathing, drinks with girls, and just living in the moment. Dwelling on what we have-not gets you nowhere and only makes you bitter, focusing on what you have makes you fulfilled. Child or not, we've got a lot and that's more then some can claim.

Rhett is taking me to a bed and breakfast this weekend in Saugatuck,Michigan for a weekend of relaxing and us time. I am thrilled to spend it together and thankful for our wonderful neighbors, Missy and Matt that are watching the boys for us. Have a great weekend everyone! Thanks for being you, we couldn't get through times like these without all of you.
Our 2 fur babies:

The IVF Ride

IVF has it's ups and downs, it's peaks and lows, and I think it is quite appropriate to compare it to a roller coster ride. I like to think that Rhett and I have done our best to see the thrill it holds and try not dwell on the low points. Right now we are trying to focus on the excitement as the ride slowly inches up the hill before the big drop, the only problem is, waiting two weeks for the big drop (aka pregnancy test) can wear on you, so what else can you do but grab the loved one's hand next to you, smile big, and know that thrill inducing, heart pounding excitement will be here before you know it.

Right now, I am "pregnant until proven otherwise". I am 4 days post embryo transfer, and have been relaxing, keeping my feet up, watching endless red boxes and lifetime movies (seriously forgot how much I love myself some lifetime, did I just publicly admit that?!?)and just doing all I can to take care of myself and these darling little embies that reside inside me.

The transfer was on Sunday and went great! We transferred back 2 perfect grade, adorable little embies and the transfer went without a hitch! My lining was great, and I felt very relaxed and happy. Rhett did a good job of making me laugh before the procedure by being his goofy self and fanning me with magazines. These progesterone shots and estrogen patches have brought on some pretty awesome hot flashes, gotta love hormones! We went straight to a post embryo transfer acupuncture treatment and then home to rest!

My ovaries are still enlarged from all that stimulating, so I am only allowed small amounts of water and mostly gatorade, V8 and anything salty, which is supposed to avoid hyper stimulating. Well, there is only one kind of gatorade I can stand, which is the light purple kind, and CVS had gatorade on sale so Rhett went out on a mission to stock us up! Turns out a lot of people like that flavor as they were sold out at our local CVS! Have no fear, three CVSes later, Rhett came through for me with a box of purple gatorade! He has been nothing short of a saint, walking the dogs, taking care of dinner, replenishing my red boxes daily, and doing it all with a smile on his face. Is he going to be a great dad or what?!?

Here are some pics of the shirts we made for transfer day and our adorable little embies, who should have started implanting today!! Aren't they precious?

We like our eggs..... FERTILIZED!

So we got the call that out of my 44 eggs, 27 were able to be fertilized and are doing fabulously well in their petri dishes. They are dividing and hatching all on their own, so we get to do a day 5 embryo transfer which is ideal! We are so thrilled with these results! I guess we are going to have to have a big family!

Sunday is the day that we will have our embryo transfer, and we will get a call tomorrow in regards to what time. Once I know, I will be sure to let you all know! We are getting really excited to have the transfer day almost here, in fact so excited, we may or may not have had some t-shirts made for this occasion! Pictures to follow!! Happy Friday, everyone!