Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Waiting is the Hardest Part

It has now been 8 days since the transfer and I haven't blogged since last Monday so I guess I need to get everyone up to date...

We were able to do the transfer as my lining grew to 11 mm which is wonderful. The clinic was running really behind that day, so we had to wait quite a while. We didn't mind though. We were just so excited to be able to go through with the transfer. Everything went well, we were sent home with next step instructions, and told to make our appointment for the pregnancy blood test for Friday, December 2nd. I came home and was pampered by Rhett and my mom for the remainder of the week. My mom cleaned the whole house and made a lovely Thanksgiving meal.There were many laughs shared between the three of us, and I felt totally at ease. It was so great having so much together time! I'm so blessed to have such a great family.

I went back to school this past Monday and have been so tired! I know it's just the getting back into the swing of things, and the fact that I was on bed rest all break and now on my feet a ton more at school! It has seemed as though the days are just dragging by, I can't wait for Friday to come! Of course I'm nervous too but I'm staying positive and telling myself it will be wonderful news. I get the blood test at 9 a.m. but won't know the results until later that day. Please keep praying and sending your thoughts! Love to you all!

Here are some pictures from transfer day!

Tuesday, November 22, 2011


T-day is upon us, not Turkey Day just yet, but transfer day. The past couple days have been good, but I can't lie and say I haven't been a but anxious to see what is going to pop up on that Ultrasound screen. I have gone to acupuncture a few times, had a blood-enhancing massage, and been practicing an eastern healing technique called a "moxa stick" that was given to me by my acupuncturist. It looks like a cigar and you light it and hold over your stomach and turn it in a clockwise motion, just not too close as not to burn yourself! It's purpose is to bring blood to that area to build up the lining, so here's to hoping all these things that I've been trying have worked and we'll get the green flag to do our transfer today. I received the call yesterday and we are to go into F.C.I. at 11:45 for our ultrasound and then if all looks well we will do the transfer at 12:45. I am very hopeful and trying to stay as positive as I can and not let my mind wander to the dreaded "what if" questions and just live each moment at a time. I am going this morning for acupuncture and then we are going to grab some breakfast and head into F.C.I. If you get a chance around 11:45 central time, please send us a prayer, good vibe, positive thought, or whatever it is you might practice. I've felt all your positive energy and prayers and I can't thank you enough! Go team snow babies... rounding third and headed for home!?!
Here is a pic of the moxa stick!

Sunday, November 20, 2011

Full of Good Intentions

When everything was going fine and dandy with our cycle, it was so easy to be positive and upbeat. It's the times where things are shaky that it takes a little more effort to find balance within myself and think happy thoughts. As we await our Tuesday Ultrasound to find out if the transfer will occur, it is easy to let the little demon named anxiety rear it's ugly head. With the help of my wonderful husband and other supportive members of my family and friends, I am remaining as positive as I can and thinking and visualizing happy thoughts and results.
I feel so blessed to have come upon the holistic fertility center I go to called, "Pulling Down the Moon." This place has become a second home to me during these trying times. They offer a wealth of fertility services such as acupuncture, yoga, nutrition, massage, and reiki. I have done all services but the reiki (but think it sounds cool!). When I walk in they know my name and the incense, friendly smiles, and soothing music instantly puts me at ease.
This past weekend they held a tree trimming event at Brookfield Zoo where you create an ornament and place your special intention inside. Rhett and I had a blast making these and going to the zoo to hang them. It felt good to release our intention out into the world and know that many others share our hopes and dreams of parenthood as we saw the many other decorated ornaments on the tree. This couldn't have happened at a more perfect time for us. It filled us with hope, joy, and the spirit of Christmas.
I know that I cannot control the fate of this cycle, I can control my attitude. At yoga today I shared our story and feeling the support from the other women was touching. I know I will be devastated if this cycle fails, but I refuse to give up. We will create our own, perfect child in time. It's finding the acceptance that we must wait til it's our time that's tough. Thank you for your continued thoughts and prayers. So many people have reached out and sent heartfelt messages, texts,and calls. Your kindness means more than you know. Please keep praying that Tuesday is the day our wish comes true...

With Love,


Here are some pictures of our ornaments. On one we wrote; "Hope, love, faith, and blessings. The other says, Dreams Really Do Come True."

Saturday, November 19, 2011

Walking a Thin Line

As you probably remember reading from a previous post, "Perfect 10" my uterine lining was looking nice and thick and everything was going as planned for our scheduled transfer on the 22nd. However, this past Wednesday I went to the doctor and my lining had gone down to 8mm, which is good, but obviously not as good as my beautiful 10mm lining from the previous week. We want a nice, thick lining so that there is more room for our precious little snow babies to implant. The doctor and nurse didn't seem to concerned with this change of events, saying it was so slight, and my lining still looked great and we were set to go for our transfer. I wasn't so satisfied with this answer and requested to come in for another Ultrasound yesterday. I am glad that I did, because my lining has continued to shrink. Now it is only a 6.9. They can still do the transfer but obviously this is not the ideal lining, and if it continues to go down next week, we won't be able to do it at all. They did put me on an additional estrogen pill in the hopes that it will thicken up by Tuesday's transfer.
The plan is for me to come in an hour before transfer so that I may have an ultrasound to look at my lining. If it looks good, they will go ahead and thaw the embyros, if not, we will have to cancel the transfer and start all over.
I am trying so hard to stay positive, but it's hard. I was completely blindsided by this and feel so helpless, all we can do is hope and pray. Rhett is trying his best to keep me grounded and settled as he always does. I guess all we can do is wait. Please pray for a thick lining for these little ones, they want to come home :)

Friday, November 18, 2011

Let the Relaxing Begin!

This past week was parent/teacher conference week. For those of you that are teachers, have been teachers, or are close to a teacher know the craziness that is conference week. I had conferences every day after school, which left me feeling very tired each night, but also fulfilled. It is a joy to see parents light up when you say something nice about their child, to see that proud mama or daddy look, when you confirm what they already know, their child is wonderful. I can't wait to someday be on the other side of that conference table and hear praise for our perfect children too.
Now that being said, when 3:40 hit yesterday I am not going to lie and tell you I didn't jump for joy and rush out of school to let Thanksgiving Break begin, because, well, I did! This year we have today and all of next week for Thanksgiving Break (and in some cases, i.e. me, bed rest). The transfer is this Tuesday the 22nd, at around 12:45, but we'll get the exact time on Monday, so I'll be sure to post that info when I know it. I am so looking forward to, as it states in my phone calendar, "the day we get preggers" but in the meantime I have a few days filled with acupuncture, abdominal massage, lunch with a yoga friend today, and if I feel so inclined a little cleaning... don't hold your breath on that last one.. haha.
I laid in bed this morning trying to fall back to sleep from my 5:00 a.m. wake-up call from two furry members of my family that will remain nameless... when I began to think about all I am thankful for this year, my family, friends, job, house, and all the people that have played a role in our infertility journey, I thank you all for being you and supporting us in all aspects of our lives. I just know that next year when I am giving thanks there will be a new member or members of our family that Rhett and I will be especially thankful for!

Happy Friday!


Friday, November 11, 2011

Perfect 10

This week was a crazy one filled with many dates with the copy machine and getting to school at 5 a.m. three days in preparation for parent/teacher conferences next week. Among all the craziness I squeezed in my weekly doctor's appointment and it was great! My uterine lining was nice and thick at 10mm and all my blood levels were right on track. So we're moving along quite nicely! We're getting so excited to welcome our little snow babies home so soon! Thanks for all your kind words and prayers, please keep them coming.

My next doctor's appointment is Wednesday and I start my Yoga for Fertility Phase 2 this Sunday. I'm excited to get to know some new faces and hopefully see a few old as well! Rhett and I are looking forward to a relaxing weekend together. Happy Friday to you all!

Monday, November 7, 2011


This past weekend my mom was in town and we had a great time! We went shopping, ate out, and laughed a lot as we always do when we get together. My mom is my best friend and I cherish our time together so much! I was sad to see her go but happy knowing in two weeks from tomorrow, she'll be here again! As she left I told her, "next time you see me, I'll be pregnant!" She is coming in the night of the transfer and although I won't know the outcome yet, I have good feelings that this is going to work!

My last yoga class was on Sunday and as usual it was wonderful. Yesterday's focus was about finding bliss. It was explained to me by my teacher in a way I had never thought of bliss before. Finding our bliss, our innermost layer, means to be at peace in what's going on in our life. It doesn't always mean that we are at the happiest point in our life, but more at peace and acceptance of what cards we've been dealt and being at harmony with it. As we were doing our poses, the weirdest thought/prayer came to my mind. A prayer of thanks to God was sounding through my head as I moved from downward dog to a forward fold. I thanked God for giving me infertility. Had I not, I would have never met these wonderful women, had grown to know myself better, or grown closer to Rhett. I am at peace now, with my two pregnancy losses and failed IVF. I am at peace with the struggle, the feelings of anxiety, and anger. I now know that this is God's plan and every day, every struggle has helped formed me into the mother I am to be. It's taken three years to get here, but I think I've arrived, I've found my bliss.

Here are some pictures with us and my mom and good family friends, the Truitts! I had a blast shopping with Gina and my mom and dining with the boys at Joe's Stone Crab!

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Moving Right Along!

Yesterday I went to FCI for Ultrasound and Blood work and all looked great! They were checking to see if the pill and shots had suppressed my hormones sufficiently. Next stop... estrogen patches and baby aspirin. The estrogen patches increase uterine lining and the baby aspirin can increase blood flow to the ovaries, and can also prevent blood clotting, which can cause miscarriage. I go in next Wednesday for another Ultrasound and blood work to see if my uterine lining is getting thicker! We want a nice thick wall for those lil snow babies to burrow and make a home!
This Sunday is my last Yoga for Fertility Class, but I enrolled in phase 2 and can't wait to continue on this journey. I've gotten to know some really amazing women and learned a lot about myself. A friend at work had a yoga for kids book and we've started doing a few moves a day and the kids love it! Yoga has become such a postive part of my life, I want to share it with others!
I'm getting so excited for the transfer to get here but I'm enjoying the journey up to it. I'm trying to eat as healthy as possible (I really miss my coffee) and being as stress-free as I can. I actually enjoy going to the fertility center for monitoring. Through my several cycles I've gotten to know a lot of wonderful nurses, sonographers, and doctors. Everyone I've met along the way has played an important part in our journey and I'm thankful for their warmth and kindness.
My mom comes this weekend and I can't wait to see her, it's been too long. Happy Almost Friday everyone!